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Thursday, January 7th, 2010 >> Blog
Written by Dani Deahl

Well, it’s officially 2010 and it’s time to slow things down (at least for a few days until I recover). I hope you all had as much of a fun holiday season as I did (as evidenced by above). Between a party called “Jingle My Balls,” a wild NYE at Crescendo and fantastic nights with artists like Moneypenny, this holiday season was a whirlwind. Speaking of NYE, I promised a free ticket to Crescendo for the person with the wildest club story…and holy cow did I get them. As a result I have to put here not only the winner, but the runner up. Trust me, it was really close. Why a reality show about nightlife has not lasted is beyond me. BTW, if you have fun/crazy NYE pics or stories, feel free to share in the comments

The winner (submitted by Dan of Chicago):

I don’t go to nightclubs that often, but the other month I was visiting a friend in Boston and he convinced me to go out. I don’t even remember the name of the club, but we had a good enough time. We got there, got settled in at the bar and my friend ran into a couple girls he knew. We started doing rounds of shots and before we knew it, these girls were PLASTERED. One of them got on the bar and the other followed suit. I was surprised the bartenders didn’t do anything about it, but whatever. From that point on, these two made the night about them, despite embarrassments like falling off chairs, missing their mouths while drinking and pouring it on their dresses instead, and of course, hitting on anything that moved (including, I’m not kidding, a little person). My friend who at this point was equally drunk, played into the girls’ advances and by the time the lights came on, he had one on each arm. I’m surprised any of them were standing. We go out to get the car and it turns out one of the girls is -literally- piss-drunk and when the car comes around, she drops trou and pees right in front of us and another group waiting for their car. To top it off, her astute friend says “Hey sorry, I think she got a little on your tire”. Why my friend still decided to take them home is beyond me, and I don’t know what happened in that bedroom (and don’t care to know). What I do know is that it turned out pee-girl was the little sister of the club owner. The next morning when she was sober, she not only stole unopened bottles from my friend’s bar and a vase (WTF), but complained to her brother that my friend took advantage of her. The next time he showed up to the club he um, got a lesson in the back alley.

The runner-up (submitted by Pasha of Chicago):

Few years back I was a techno club and because I have a medical background someone asked me to help evaluate a guy who passed out in the club. The security mentioned that the guy was drinking a little and said something about using drugs. I was taken to the guy who was sitting on a stool with a jacket over his legs. He said that he was out of town and really wanted to party that night but wasn’t feeling well. The guy said he he only had 2 beers but that he did take some pills before he left home. When I asked him what he took he responded with the funniest combo of pills I can think of… He sad he was feeling a little self conscious about his weight and took a Hydroxycut, wanted to meet someone special and so took a Viagra, and since travelling he developed a little diarrhea and so he took some Immodium, and headed out. What I didn’t yet mention was that he was definitely interested in men, and heading out dressed to flaunt it by wearing assless chaps with a thong underneath. Well after drinking and probably being dehydrated from being sick when he got to the club he got lightheaded and passed out. The devastating part is that when he passed out he lost his bowel control and crapped on himself in his thong and assless chaps. When he came to, he was surrounded by horrified people, tried to get up, passed out again, and shat on himself again. That’s what call a BAD night.

Ok, so now because there are so many tracks to go through, I’ll review half or a little more than half and put the rest up tomorrow. BTW, thanks to NoVegans.com for listing DSquared as #4 on the list of “Top 9 Clubbin’ Blogs of 2009″!

I don’t know why I’ve been sitting on this Fanatastadon remix for so long, but here it finally is. This remix of DJ Wool’s “Strobelight” is better than his previous works. Where I thought that other remixes sounded compressed to hell (i.e. clipped), this one is just purely loud – in a good way. A strong lead is the base for the spoken word/rap vocal and supported by warbles, pads and secondary synths. I’d love to hear a dub version of this as well – I think the components are strong enough where it could stand on its own.

[audio:http://www.danideahl.com/audio/01_07_10/Strobelight_Fantastadon_Remix.mp3]
DJ Wool feat. Subtitle: Strobelight (Fantastadon Remix)
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DuoTone has been featured here before and their remix of Extraball with Amanda Blank and Yuksek still finds a way into my sets. This mix of Example’s “Won’t Go Quietly” just solidifies what I already thought about DuoTone – a solid remix name that is highly underrated and not well known enough. In this track, I especially love the breakdown with nods to dubstep and the pitched vocal stabs (at least, I believe it’s a pitched vocal). Though their sound is distinctly electro, there’s a please the masses quality to it, and I don’t mean that in a condescending way. In fact, I bet if they took on a top 40 name (much in the way Chew Fu did, or Discotech) that their name would get a little insta-bump.

[audio:http://www.danideahl.com/audio/01_07_10/Example_WontGoQuietly_DuoToneRemix.mp3]
Example: Won’t Go Quietly (DuoTone Remix)
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Weeeee a “Night By Night” remix! I love this Chromeo remix by Bubblegum Sci Fi. When remixes of this song first started popping up, they were all very laid back, either taking a cue from the obvious disco overtones or stripping it all away for a minimal feel. Neither way really grabbed me and I kept wishing that someone would figure out how to make a solid peak hour version. Some came close, and then this mix was sent to me. Only using the chorus, this remix amps the energy up with a synth that alternates between very staccato and bars of ascending notes. A very pretty breakdown with trickling percussion and muted keys is a perfect transition without stopping the flow of the track.

[audio:http://www.danideahl.com/audio/01_07_10/NightByNight_BubblegumSciFiRemix.mp3]
Chromeo: Night By Night (Bubblegum Sci Fi Remix)
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Ok, not much to say about this, and it’s a bit of a guilty pleasure tune (come on, we all have them), but here’s a remix of Three Six Mafia’s “Feel It” by MikiWAR. Not much to say except if you like all that LMFAO, Ke$ha, Pitbull stuff…you will like this. A basic, well done remix that makes it very club-friendly. Don’t hurt me.

[audio:http://www.danideahl.com/audio/01_07_10/FeelIt_MikiWAR_Bootyleg.mp3]
Three Six Mafia: Feel It (MikiWAR Bootyleg)
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Dan Sena does it again. His take on the Scanners’ “Salvation” is a hard track that is done in such a way that it doesn’t take away from the gorgeous harmonics of the vocals. Personally I think the hi hats are a touch too hot and a little more could have been done to make the main synth have more depth, but aside from that, I really enjoy the contrasts he employs between all the elements, and how they all come together for a smooth ride. I actually found myself closing my eyes on the breaks. The way the layers roll over each other is divine.

[audio:http://www.danideahl.com/audio/01_07_10/Salvation_Dan_Sena_Blinded_by_the_Light_Remix.mp3]
Scanners: Salvation (Dan Sena Blinded by the Light Remix)
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Following along the same lines, The Subs remix La Roux’s “Colourless Colour” with equal finesse. With muted keys underneath the vocals that play against harsher elements such as the snare, it’s an intense track that relies on simple progressions with existing elements instead of overly dramatic synths. Arpeggiated notes do all the work here with a simple bassline and at least two other synths filling in the blanks. It sounds like a lot but The Subs manage to make each one parlay off the next. It’s full, not overwhelming.

[audio:http://www.danideahl.com/audio/01_07_10/La_Roux_Colourless_Colour_The_Subs_Popup_Mix.mp3]
La Roux: Colourless Colour (The Subs Popup Mix)
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Ok, I’m seeing a trend in the tracks I picked for today. Again we have soothing vocals, several synths and atmospherics galore. Frederick Carlsson‘s remix of PNAU’s “Embrace” has such a lush auditory landscape with small fills and accent notes that are perfection and carry along the pacing of the track without it becoming monotonous. Unique – this track features a minute long remix past the halfway mark that would normally annoy me (long breakdowns tend to be problem solvers for producers but if not done well, are a drag for the audience) but just as all the instruments trail off, the vocal kicks in with overdone stutters. I could see it completely amping up a crowd.

[audio:http://www.danideahl.com/audio/01_07_10/PNAU_Embrace_Fredrick_Carlsson_Epic_Remix.mp3]
PNAU: Embrace (Fredrick Carlsson Epic Remix)
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This remix of Imogen Heap’s “Hide and Seek” by TapeDeckBros is clever…in that it uses only tiny snippets to enhance a gorgeous house track. Sure, the chorus eventually peeks through towards the end, but surrounded by pulsing harmonics, vocal stabs used as accent notes and sweeping pads over the top, it’s almost a non-entity in the tune. I almost wish the full vocals weren’t used at all as you can hear a stuttering from where the remixer stretched it too much to make it fit. I’m not sure I would use this in a mix for that reason, but at a club, I wouldn’t hesitate. Maybe a second version without the chorus could be in the works…?

[audio:http://www.danideahl.com/audio/01_07_10/HideAndSeek_TapeDeckBros_FukThaOCRemix.mp3]
TapeDeckBros: Hide & Seek (TapeDeckBros Fuk Tha OC Remix)
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Bonus track:

[audio:http://www.danideahl.com/audio/01_07_10/TrickyTricky_NormandieMusicRemix.mp3]
Röyksopp: Tricky Tricky (Normandie Music Remix)
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